When I was in Kindergarten, if I didn't go to school on the school bus- aka, my routine- I would cry and throw a fit in front of the school, to the point where my principal would come out to the car to get me to come in. My separation anxiety? High. My tolerance for change? low.
So, I thought saying goodbye to my parents at school, the way they would usually drop me off, would be easier. And it was! We unloaded the 28" suitcase and then packed up the rest of my room to go back home with them. Then we had a fabulous lunch, stopped at KMart, and went back to my dorm.
This is when my mother starts to cry. She's about as bad as I am at goodbyes, but I will say with pride that I waited until I got into the building before the waterworks started. Touchdown, Mr. Xanax.
One of the most soothing activities for me is painting (nothing artistic- usually picture frames and vases), and since I had a project I already needed to work on, that was perfect. I just finished, and am now enjoying some quiet time for myself in this beautiful weather. Doug is at work, Maggie is still on spring break, and I am here, being a strong and independent woman who is in no way terrified of being alone and at risk for a mental breakdown at a moment's notice.
Sarcasm aside, I think the most important thing for me on this trip will be to learn how to be independant. Not just doing things on my own (like lifting heavy suitcases), but making MYSELF happy, and not asking others to do it. To be comfortable being alone, and maybe even enjoy it. Yes, I want to learn about other cultures. But I want to learn about myself even more.
“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert, to herself (Eat Pray Love)
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